Fairy Tales Can Come True

Mon, 31 May 2021 18:12:47 GMT

Alas, I still live.

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Growth

Mon, 31 May 2021 02:10:19 GMT

It wasn’t when Elena stole her child and left her, it wasn’t when things were hell around Mia, or when she discovered the truth of her heritage.

The change happened when she was at her bakery, and noticed a woman sitting alone, counting her change. She could feel the despair, the loneliness, how forgotten she felt by the world.

It didn’t matter who the woman was, but the world didn’t care. No one did and customer after customer passed her, ignored her tears.

No one cared. No one ever really seemed to care, unless they got something out of it. She wordlessly dropped a couple of stacks of bills in the woman’s lap and went for a walk.

She didn’t see any more good in the world. There were no rainbows, no sunshine. No hope.

Sunny could be raised by a nanny. What was the point if she was just going to lose her too.

Until death finally could take her, she would just go through the motions of life. No more friends or connections, no more relationships.

Cassandra had given up.

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The nine of swords

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 05:09:28 GMT

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Sun, 15 Nov 2020 02:37:13 GMT

Once upon a time, a beautiful maiden escaped hell. One of the people who helped her was a young woman who stole her heart.

The maiden didn’t mind at first, because the woman made her happy. There was love and hugs and rainbows. There were two babies.

Then, the woman said she had to leave, that the house was no longer safe for her. She promised to meet the maiden under their special tree every night, and that she’d never be alone again. She took one of the babies and was gone.

The first night, they met under the tree. The family was whole.

The second night. It was just the woman, she left while the maiden slept.

And then, she never returned.

The maiden grew weak, because she no longer had a heart. A piece of her spirit was gone too, with the missing child.

There was nothing left. She was a shell. She looked for the woman and child, but they were nowhere.

There is no happy ending, because fairy tales are not real.

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Fri, 13 Nov 2020 18:32:56 GMT

I fell in love, and now, I am alone again. I have one baby instead of two.

Her name is Sunshine, she is still small.

Today, I have decided to move on with my life and to be happy even while missing a baby and a girlfriend.

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Fri, 13 Nov 2020 18:29:58 GMT

What would your one wish be?

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Mon, 18 Nov 2019 05:33:13 GMT

I know I have the babies but I can’t do this anymore.

Everything everywhere is so bad. Nothing is happy.

I’m ready for it to end

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Wed, 08 May 2019 02:58:27 GMT

Broken glass

Empty stroller

Broken heart

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Wed, 08 May 2019 02:16:12 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a princess who was exiled from her kingdom. She took her two perfect babies with her, and they lived happily in the wilderness.

The devil came knocking one day. He left his mark, and the princess knew that she didn’t have much time before the devil would claim her babies.

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Sun, 14 Apr 2019 04:45:59 GMT

Once upon a time, a group of bandits kidnapped a princess. She did as was required of her, playing lover and maid, and the bandits continued to terrorize the town.

The princess was beautiful, and was soon ordered to serve other bandits. Because of her kindness and grace, she was told to offer the bandits, the king’s Men, and everyone else the magic straw that turned to gold

She took one barrel and made enough money for twelve. She helped the bandits make a lot of money. One quiet night, after they slept, she shuttered the doors and windows, and caught the building on fire.

The escaped princess returned home where there was much joy. She celebrated until the next day. The others who she sold to wanted more.

Our sweet princess was now The Queen of Bandits

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Sat, 30 Mar 2019 06:06:37 GMT

Cassie was happy after the babies were born. The doctor had a plan for fixing a particularly pressing health issue, her girlfriend would go on a vacation with her after the trauma program was completed, and the babies would grow up in a castle somewhere, never expected to do a single chore. They would not be sold or given away.

Everyone would be happy and the world would be rainbows.

Then she overheard Alex and his not girlfriend speaking. Cassie liked her too, to the point of a small crush.

They were talking about the babies. About the arrangements. She wasn’t happy with it- and automatically, she blamed herself. She asked him to take the babies names back and he said yes. The deal was off.

Instead of knocking gently, asking if they wanted to see the babies, Cassie quickly put them in a stroller and left. She refused to stay anywhere she didn’t feel wanted or welcome.

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Tue, 26 Mar 2019 12:07:39 GMT

“The shop and your vehicle will be wholly in your name” he begins, reading from a paper “The trauma program is still set up”

“Did she say why she was mad?” Cassie asked, in a small voice

“She’s not mad at you, Cassie... and you don’t need to move out. You’ve got new babies for goodness sake, and we need to find them a home. You’re recovering, there’s appointments that you must attend- your trauma program”

“I refuse to live where I’m not wanted, and I don’t want to come between you and her”

“My daughter loves you, the staff adore you, and you’re like the sister I’ve never had.” Alex begins “I’ve got lawyers working on new paperwork-“

“Tell her I’m sorry. I’ll be back for my things and my dog once I find a place” and then she left, never intending on returning.

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Sat, 23 Mar 2019 04:45:31 GMT

“We’re losing her!”

“Code blue! Sir, ma’am,clear the area!”

Cassie could hear them, she just didn’t care. She wanted to drift away into the clouds.

The cry of a baby snapped her back- the cry of two babies.

It would be more than a week before she opened her eyes and saw them.

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True Love’s kiss

Sat, 23 Mar 2019 04:13:54 GMT

Once upon a time, a young thief had a heart full of darkness and pain. She met the queen of rainbows, whose own heart was clouded with darkness that rivaled her own, and wanted to learn more.

The two of them became fast friends, spending many nights talking under the stars.

Slowly, The thief lifted the cloud from her Queen’s heart, and felt her own darkness lighten too.

The couple spoke of hopes and dreams, their friendship grew into a romance, the romance, to love.

On a horrible, terrible day, the queen was attacked by a wizard and his poison thorns. She fell into a deep slumber.

The thief was heartbroken. The Queen would soon die. In desperation she kissed her.

If all was right with the world, true love’s kiss worked, and the couple are laying under the stars, right now, talking about the vacation they want to take together, or sharing a home. The two of them loved each other more than anything else in the universe.

And the queen slept, and dreamed.
Happily ever after.

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The Deal

Sun, 03 Mar 2019 03:19:09 GMT

Cassie laughed, then removed the diamond ring from her finger “The baby isn’t yours and I want a divorce.”

“Oh dear! Well, the twenty minute marriage was nice, but my heart belongs to another.” Alex laughed as well as he removed the band from his finger.

“I think mine does too” Cassie smiles to herself “She’s lovely”

“Once you’re cleared by doctors, Cassandra. Your end of the bargain is to help me fool my family, and to be happy and healthy”

“My friend makes me happy. My freedom“

“You’re free to invite them to the infusion center, but from your reaction, I know you’ve not told anyone”

“That’s not part of the deal. Your family is fooled- and I need you to hold up your end”

“What’s the building today?”

“A hostel, please. You only need to flirt with the girl at the counter, just enough to distract her for twenty minutes. Then collect the rent and deposit it into the Party Planning account”

“When you want to drop whatever this is, please let me know, and after you’re healthy, I expect you to go on a long holiday with your girlfriend”

“I can’t drop my kingdom. My subjects all need me”

“Yes, Princess.”

“Queen! You’re still a prince”

“Yes, my Queen of. Rainbows and giant hellhounds”

“Have a good day, Prince of parties and Hallmark”

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Mon, 25 Feb 2019 05:59:23 GMT

Once upon a time, a man traded his child for riches. He soon realized the error of his ways and sought ways to protect his child.

They all failed, and the devil came to collect what was his. Her faith was strong, he was unable to collect the girl. He tried again and again, ordering the people around the girl to strip her of her purity.

Finally the devil ordered that the last pure part of her be cut away. She became a shell of herself.

When he came to collect again, her tears washed away her sins. He banished her and she was forced to walk alone. She relied on the kindness of others to survive.

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The snowglobe world

Mon, 07 Jan 2019 01:15:18 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a world in a snowglobe. A goose girl worked with geese, and her friend Conrad would steal her hat to look at her beautiful hair.

Conrad went to the king and complained about her, and the king desired the princess for himself. She was actually a lost princess, which only the king knew about.

He pursued the princess, but instead of marrying him, she ran through a magic mirror. She met a beautiful woman who stole her heart, and the king no longer had a chance with her. They married and moved into a cottage in the woods, where the goose girl princess had twin girls who she named Summer and Sunshine. And they lived happily ever after.

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Journal Entry

Fri, 19 Oct 2018 02:44:59 GMT

Dear Journal,

My name is Cassie, and I’m writing this because the woman in the clinic said that I need to express myself.

What’s the point when no one really cares? I suppose that’s not fair. People care, but I still feel terribly alone. I want to live in my stupid dream world. I’m married in my dream world, to a beautiful angel. She’s so nice to me, and she’s got wings. She wants to name the baby Sunshine.

My real life is hardly exciting. I’ve moved in with a friend and he makes sure that I stay safe. I work.

Most time is spent pretending that I’m living happily somewhere, or handling my side businesses.

Brian had his hands in a lot of stuff, and if I don’t run it, no one else will and peoples lives depend on it. So I’ve got the party planning business, website consulting, dog walking, maid service, nanny service AND have work to do with the oil company.

I don’t have friends... other than the one I’m staying with. I lost them all.

Hate my life, but it’s too hard to die.

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Awake

Tue, 02 Oct 2018 02:57:02 GMT

She just wanted to sleep. To dream, and be happy. The people- the love. It was all so, so, so nice.

Tonight they planned a wedding, fairy lights, and a honeymoon trip. Cassie wanted that life more than anything.

She was snatched out of the dream by cold. Cold, wet, and someone calling her name.

“Cassie! Cassandra!”

She opened her eyes, a handsome man with a three day beard stared at her.

“Alex? Did you finally sleep with me?”

“No.” He sighs, runs his hand through his hair “You’re in one of my bathtubs... I covered you with a towel, but I nearly called emergency. I still might, You’re in a bad way”

“No!” Cassie jumped up, and realized that all she had on was a wet towel. The man looked away and offered her another. “What did you do??”

“To the person who brought you in here?” Alex shakes his head “That’s your call. I can have him arrested or take care of the situation myself. You’re alive, which is good for him, but you really should get to a hospital.”

“I just need... work” Cassie blinks a few times. “It’s safe there.”

“You’re shivering” Alex says, looking at her quickly, making sure she wasn’t dripping blood or covered in wounds. “He had pills on him, and-“

“No!” Cassie exclaimed, loudly “I’m going to work, now!! Give me my clothes!”

Alex sighs, and leaves the room. Cassie can hear the sounds of a struggle, some fighting. A third against the wall.

“They’re ripped. Take these” Alex offers her a dress still on a hanger and a pair of flip-flops. They were literally the first thing he saw that looked like it would fit.

Cassie blacked out again after that. The next time she woke up, she was Awake. Sure of herself. She knew where the dreams would lead.

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All I want to do is dream

Tue, 25 Sep 2018 00:50:31 GMT

Dreaming is the only time when I’m happy. I bought the cabin but it just makes the fantasy easier.

It makes it easy to ignore the big huge thing that I can’t... face. I’d like to think that it’s really some other woman who is living this crapsack life.

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Baking

Thu, 09 Aug 2018 08:14:16 GMT

Recipes were lists. They were lists of ingredients, and lists of instructions.

Cassie loved lists, and something felt really normal about baking. She could focus on that, making every step perfect and not think about the dark and mean and cold things. The horrors that gave her nightmares. Instead, She'd bake. Cookies and cakes and pies, donuts, brownies and everything else. She decided that she would keep doing it, until there was no more flour or sugar.

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notebooks, routines

Thu, 09 Aug 2018 08:09:47 GMT

In response to the boat incident.

( Read more... )

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Tue, 07 Aug 2018 04:57:51 GMT

Is cliff diving any fun?

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Mon, 06 Aug 2018 17:53:32 GMT

I woke up on a rooftop and thought about falling, only to be stopped by Brian.

He apologized. (I’m seeing things. He wasn’t there). Now I am sick.

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Blog entry

Sun, 29 Jul 2018 11:43:05 GMT

It’s been a minute since I’ve been on here.

If any of my dear friends can be bothered, I’m throwing myself a birthday party. According to my birth certificate and arrest record, I turned twenty-one two weeks ago.

No gifts are required, I only want to see you all one more time, in a positive, safe space

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